Or perhaps I love it the more for being what I'm not but would like to be. There's very little room in my life for expensive naughty undies; I gave up fitted suits aaaages ago, before I got pregnant with the first of three children; I've never had a swan neck or long legs. I look horrified (and horrifying!) when I wear black, particularly the sort of slinky black thing that seems to just go with L'Arte di Gucci. Think evening gowns in black lace, hats with veils, stiletto heels, Singapore Slings and cigarettes in holders. Think Alexis Carrington, from Dynasty. Think everything that says Expensive and Haughty Heart-breaking Female Here; if you fall in love with her, it's your own stupid fault for not resisting.
And let's have a word about that bottle at this point, shall we? Can you say UGLY? Can you say Tacky, boys and girls? Somebody done hit it with the Ugly Stick, as we used to say when I was growing up. (We also said, "Ugly as homemade sin," but clearly the word "homemade" has no discernible relation to the bottle of L'Arte, as tarted up as it is in black and gilt.) Holy cow, is that thing ever a bottleful of Boogie Nights! On the other hand, it is opaque black* glass - super for keeping the fragrance safe from exposure to light - and quite satisfyingly heavy, with a subtle curve not apparent from the photo. *I refer to the edp version; the edt has the same shape and hideous gold squiggle, but its glass is clear. This is my bottle:
L'Arte di Gucci was released in 1991 - but smells very retro to me, with the saucy backbone one expected of fragrance in the late seventies. If you have smelled Ungaro Diva, another Big Rose Chypre which was released in 1983, L'Arte di Gucci will smell familiar to you, although L'Arte seems more focused on the rose, more forceful, and less symphonic.
From Fragrantica.com, here are the notes for L'Arte di Gucci:
Top notes are aldehydes, coriander, fruity notes, green notes and bergamot. Middle notes are mimosa, tuberose, orris root, jasmine, muguet, rose, geranium and narcissus. Base notes are leather, amber, patchouli, musk, oakmoss and vetiver.
I do not smell much in the way of aldehydes here, but bergamot and green notes are prominent. The unspecified "fruity notes" undoubtedly include cassis bud, with its intense, shocking-pink tartness. I notice that spraying the scent makes the cassis - which can read as "cat pee" to some - far more noticeable and bitter, and I also typically smell a plasticky note when I spray that I do not notice when I decant and dab instead. I very much prefer to dab this one. When I read the back of the bottle, and (ahem, attempt to) translate the French, I see that tagete (marigold) and cassis bud are both listed, but aldehydes and "green notes" are not.
The heart is nearly all rose-geranium, with the other florals very much in the background, simply adding some roundness. I do smell the cool iris here, and the deep haylike nuance of narcissus serves as a bridge into the drydown, rich with the bitter edge of moss and patchouli and sweet with amber and musk. I do not smell leather, nor much vetiver, but I do often smell a fuzzy, skinlike note that I believe to be the costus (listed on the bottle, not on fragrantica). I like it.
Once the Joan Collins/Disco Era/Big Hair Glam effect of the opening is over, my general impression is that of a wildly overgrown garden, roses and thorns, exotic flowers and bizarre Gothic vines snaking about the cast-iron seating, with late afternoon sun shafting down through the clouds and creating an intense pink-and-green light and shadows effect. I'd say chiaroscuro, but in my mind at least, that refers to black, white, and graytone, and L'Arte is decidedly colorful.
L'Arte di Gucci was discontinued in 2007, probably done in by the one-two knockout punches of 1) the general taste tending toward the sweet and gourmand, and 2) the IFRA regulation of oakmoss. A sad situation. I'd hoard the bottle I have, but I love it too much. It can still be found, particularly in the edt version (which I have not smelled), on the odd online discounter, or at ebay. The 5ml bottles of edp seem readily available at ebay, however, at the time of writing. Try to pick one up if you can.
Top image is of Joan Collins as the superbly nasty Alexis Carrington, from flickr. Second image is of Bianca Todd, a photographic portrait made by Peter A Juley & Son, from Smithsonian Institution at flickr. (Ms. Todd was a painter in the 1880's; I've never seen her work but I'd like to. She certainly looks as though she was really having fun, and not simply showing off her opera costume. I'll bet she was a fireball.) Third image is from the author's collection. Fourth image is Hottest Pink Rose by julev69 at flickr.